Christian Dating Advice

For many single people, Christian dating advice can provide helpful guidelines for meeting others with similar beliefs and values. Relevant information can be found through several different venues. Of course, the internet is a great place to begin. Multiple sites have informative articles on this topic. But a few that present themselves as a legitimate source of advice are in reality making mockery of Christians' high standards for purity in relationships. Some online dating/matchmaking services truly are dedicated to matching up Christians with similar personality traits, interests, and hobbies. Individuals will need to use good judgment in deciding which ones are legitimate and which ones are scams in disguise. Additional resources can be found in Christian bookstores which often have a section devoted to singles. Some of these books will promote the gift of singleness. The authors of these books may share their own experiences as a single person and encourage others to embrace the single status as an opportunity for ministry. Other authors share expertise by providing Christian dating advice to both men and women. Some of the tips are general and apply to both genders, but some resources are gender-specific.
God created men and women with obvious physical differences, but there are also emotional and mental differences. Women feel differently and think differently than men do; these differences are part of God's plan and should be respected as such. The opposite is also true. Women need to respect how men feel and think differently than they do. God established the family as the first institution so it's no surprise that people long to find that special someone to marry. Finding that individual is often easier said than done, however. The search for a lifetime partner needs to begin with prayer for God's blessing and discernment in following His will for one's life. The Bible provides a foundation for gaining needed wisdom in this area. For example, Christians strive to honor God in all aspects of their lives and this is especially important in personal relationships. The best Christian dating advice begins with understanding God's principles for living. Paul wrote to the believers in Corinth: "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are" (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). Because we are God's temple, we have a responsibility to honor God. The most important way to demonstrate godly honor is to abstain from physical intimacy outside of a marriage relationship.
The desire to honor God can be hindered when a couple isn't careful about setting specific boundaries within the relationship. Specific Christian dating advice addresses this issue and provides ideas for staying out of situations that could lead to temptation. For example, couples may limit their physical interactions with one another. Some individuals make a personal commitment not to kiss anyone of the opposite gender until their wedding. Others find this type of restriction to be unnecessary. Though people's views on the specifics may vary, the principle is important boundaries need to be set before a dating relationship begins. Individuals should be certain in their own minds what they will and will not do. Because the decision has already been made, it will be easier for a person to stick to that decision should she find herself with someone with lower standards. Double dates and group outings can be fun ways to spend time with other people instead of spending too much time with just one other person. The couple can still be together, but the temptation for intimacy is lessened when other people are around. Couple can look for Christian dating advice to find other activities they can do together that will help them get to know each other while honoring God.
Experts usually caution Christians against recreational and missionary dates. Let's take a brief look at each of these topics. Recreational dates are casual get-togethers with a member of the opposite gender just to spend time together. These two people have no interest in each other as future spouses, but just want to have a good time. Missionary dates occur when a believer goes out with an unbeliever in hopes of converting that person. However, Scripture warns: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). Experts on Christian dating advice urge believers to only date other believers whom they want to know better with the eventual goal of marriage. Anything less than that may end up in disaster for both the individuals involved and not be in keeping with God's plan for one's life.
Perhaps one of the best ideas when it comes to Christian dating advice is for Christians to use 1 Corinthians 13, commonly known as the "love" or "charity" chapter, as a pattern when seeking people to date. True love is much deeper than physical attraction and should be the cornerstone of a serious relationship that honors God. This type of love respects the other person's individuality and talent while seeking God's will for the future. Single Christians are encouraged to uphold one another in prayer, to respect physical boundaries, and to avoid recreational and missionary dates. Sites offering Christian dating advice or matchmaking services can be excellent resources, but discretion is needed to sift the wheat from the chaff. Singleness shouldn't be seen as a thorn, but as an opportunity for wholeheartedly serving God.
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1 Corinthians 13Love 1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.