By Phil Hazlewood , AFP Thu, Sep 3 2009
Treat trips like a second honeymoon.
http://www.relax.com.sg/relax/news/240540/Don%2527t_divorce%252C_.html
MUMBAI– Marriage hit the rocks? Considering a divorce? An Indian tour operator wants warring couples to hold off consulting lawyers and go on holiday instead -- with a relationship counsellor in tow.
KV Tours and Travels, based in the western city of Mumbai, has launched "divorce tourism" packages, designed to get spouses who have fallen out of love to bury the hatchet.
"With divorce tourism, what we're trying to do is to bring together couples who are heading towards divorce to stop them," the company's chief executive Vijesh Thakker told AFP.
India, where marriage is still viewed as the bedrock of society, has traditionally had one of the world's lowest divorce rates. Only about one in 100 marriages fail, compared with one in two in the United States.
But the divorce rate is rising, particularly in India's big cities.
"In metropolitan areas like New Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Chennai, where higher income people are residing, divorce is becoming quite common," Hasan Anzar, a partner at New Delhi firm ANZ Lawz, told AFP.
"You can definitely say that cases of family law are rising and it's happening with all lawyers."
Reasons for the rise include the greater empowerment of women in urban India through better education and employment, which has changed their aspirations in life and given them financial independence, said Anzar.
Others are interference from in-laws, many of whom live with married couples in the joint family structure, or imported ideas of "love marriages", as opposed to ones arranged by families along social, religious or caste lines.
In a sign of the phenomenon, ANZ Lawz runs an Internet-based subsidiary called divorcelawyers.co.in, which bills itself as "India's first exclusive divorce law firm".
Elsewhere, websites like secondshaadi.com offer online dating services to divorcees and widows, who until recently were widely ostracised by conservative society. Shaadi is the Hindi word for wedding.
Thakker said couples at loggerheads are likely to be unwilling to spend cash on each other, so is instead targeting family members who want to save a failing marriage -- often to save family honour -- to foot the bill.
He said he had had half a dozen enquiries shortly after launching last month and was hoping for more.
Different packages are available, from week-long stays in hill station resorts costing about 35,000 rupees (720 dollars) to more expensive foreign destinations.
"We're trying to send them where they have not been before, where there are not many people -- and no relatives," said Thakker.
Experienced marriage counsellors, whose costs are paid through deals made with hoteliers and travel agents, will accompany the husbands and wives, encouraging them to patch up their differences and make a fresh start.
Thakker, a 40-year-old father of two sons and "happily married for 18 years", reckons a seven-day trip is enough to determine a couple's future.
Anzar suggested that the concept might work because of the continuing social stigma of divorce in certain sections of Indian society and the wider significance here of marriage as a union of families, not just individuals.
Rhea Pravin Tembhekar, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist who runs a counselling centre in Mumbai, said she was intrigued by the concept.
"If you're fighting about trivial things, like time management or in-laws issues -- 'my mother, your mother, my money, your money, etcetera' -- maybe a holiday might work," she told AFP.
"But sometimes the issues are very critical, like domestic violence. You can't go on holiday and resolve that."
The unusual package comes as the Indian tourism sector suffers a downturn due to the continued effects of the global economic crisis. Overseas visitors also fell after last November's militant attacks on Mumbai.
Thakker, who hit on the concept after seeing a friend go through a divorce 18 months ago, said innovation was the key to helping boost tourist numbers.
"People are ready to accept new concepts," he said.
"Nowadays divorce rates are rising, so we need to sort it out. It's a good thing we're doing. And we're helping domestic and international governments by promoting tourism."
"We're not destiny changers," he admitted, but added: "We want them to treat the trip like a second honeymoon."
-AFP
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
What a soul tie is...
http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/soulties.php
The Bible speaks of what is today known as soul ties. In the Bible, it doesn't use the word soul tie, but it speaks of them when it talks about souls being knit together, becoming one flesh, etc. A soul tie can serve many functions, but in it's simplest form, it ties two souls together in the spiritual realm. Soul ties between married couples draw them together like magnets, while soul ties between fornicators can draw a beaten and abused woman to the man which in the natural realm she would hate and run from, but instead she runs to him even though he doesn't love her, and treats her like dirt. In the demonic world, unholy soul ties can serve as bridges between two people to pass demonic garbage through. I helped a young man not too long ago break free from downright awful visitations from demons, all due to an ungodly soul tie he had with a witch. The man was a Christian, and the only thing that allowed her to send demonic torment his way, is through the soul tie. Other soul ties can do things such as allow one person to manipulate and control another person, and the other person is unaware to what is going on or knows what is going on, but for no real reason, allows it to continue.
How soul ties are formed
I believe there are other ways which soul ties are formed, but here are some that I am aware of.
Sexual relations: Godly soul ties are formed when a couple are married (Ephesians 5:31, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."), and the Godly soul tie between a husband and the wife that God intended him to have is unbreakable by man (Mark 10:7-9). However, when a person has ungodly sexual relations with another person, an ungodly soul tie is then formed (1 Corinthians 6:16, "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh."). This soul tie fragments the soul, and is destructive. People who have many past relationships find it very difficult to 'bond' or be joined to anybody, because their soul is fragmented.
Close relationships: King David and Jonathan had a good soul tie as a result of a good friendship (1 Samuel 18:1, "And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."), but bad soul ties can form from bad relationships as well. Idolizing somebody can cause a bad soul tie.
I have heard too that you can create a soul tie with a rock group by becoming obsessed with their music. Which explains the strong pull towards certain music that seems almost irresistible.
Vows, commitments and agreements: Vows are known to bind the soul (Numbers 30:2), marriage itself consists of vows and binds the two people together (Ephesians 5:31), therefore I have little reason to overlook the concept of vows or commitments as being a means to create a soul tie.
How to break a soul tie
1. If any sins were committed to cause this soul tie, repent of them! Fornication is perhaps one of the most common ways to create nasty soul ties.
2. If gifts were given to you by the other person in connection with the sin or unholy relationship, such as rings, flowers, cards, bras, etc. I would get rid of them! Such things symbolize the ungodly relationship, and can hold a soul tie in place. If you are still friends or in a relationship (just now it's no longer an ungodly relationship), like say a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, except you've repented of and forsaken the unholy practices you used to do in your relationship, then I don't feel it is necessary to destroy all the gifts and things that you have been given. I would still encourage you to get rid of anything that symbolizes the ungodly practices in the relationship though, such as if a guy gives a girl a bra and panties with his initials on them during fornication. I wouldn't encourage you to hang on to such things that symbolize sin or that are wrong to give each other before marriage. Things such as flowers and love letters given during an adultery should be destroyed.
3. Any rash vows or commitments made that played a part in forming the soul tie should be renounced and repented of, and broken in Jesus' name. Even things like "I will love you forever", or "I could never love another man!" need to be renounced. They are spoken commitments that need to be undone verbally. As Proverbs 21:23 tells us, "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles." The tongue has the ability to bring the soul great troubles and bondage.
4. Forgive that person if you have anything against them.
5. Renounce the soul tie. Do this verbally, and in Jesus' name. Example, "In Jesus' name, I now renounce any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and ______ as a result of _______________ (fornication, etc.)."
6. Break the soul tie in Jesus' name! Do this verbally using your authority in Jesus. Example, "I now break and sever any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and _________ as a result of ______________ (fornication, etc.) in Jesus' name."
Dangers of fornication and adultery
Sexual play (intercourse, oral, etc.) is supposed to be for marriage. Whether or not you're a Christian, it's wise to keep this rule. It not only opens a person up to diseases and curses such as HIV, but it also creates unholy soul ties (spiritual bondage between one person and another), which can cause unclean (demonic) bondages to transfer from one person to the other.
Brief Biblical look at soul ties
1 Corinthians 6:16, "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh."
Obviously the two didn't get married, but something spiritual "happened" when they were joined physically in the act of sex. They were "joined"; their souls were "tied." Often there are men who have an adultery with a prostitute (one night stand), and afterwards, even years later, are still thinking about that girl! That is because a soul tie has been created.
Dangers of unholy soul ties
Unholy soul ties can be 'demonic bridges' between one person to the next. For example, if you were to have extra-martial sex with somebody who was involved in the occult and had horrible fears of demons, and was afraid of her own shadow.. you could end up with the same kind of tormenting spirits as she has, and be just as fearful (although you could have been afraid of nothing before sleeping with her!). This is because you are not only opening yourself up to a curse for sexual sin, but also a soul tie with a person who is tormented ```````by demons.
Don't think to yourself that the person you are having sex with is clean from demon spirits. Demons spirits can cause everything from depression to horrible fears (panic attacks, etc.) and a huge list of problems that people face everyday!
Struggle against compulsive lustful desires?
If you have a compulsive struggle with lust, bad thoughts, etc., you may be struggling with what they call an iniquity. An iniquity is like a weakness (lust, anger, pride, etc.) and it could have been handed down from your ancestors (Exodus 20:5) or it could have been opened up in your own life (Lev 5:17).
You might want to check out a book titled Breaking Generational Curses & Pulling Down Strongholds by Vito Rallo. It's a real eye opener to how these iniquities get started, how they operate, and how to go about breaking yourself off from them.
http://www.newwineonline.com/files/pdf/publications/newwineUST.pdf
http://www.divorcehope.com/breakingasoultie.htm
http://ministeringdeliverance.com/soul_ties.php
The Bible speaks of what is today known as soul ties. In the Bible, it doesn't use the word soul tie, but it speaks of them when it talks about souls being knit together, becoming one flesh, etc. A soul tie can serve many functions, but in it's simplest form, it ties two souls together in the spiritual realm. Soul ties between married couples draw them together like magnets, while soul ties between fornicators can draw a beaten and abused woman to the man which in the natural realm she would hate and run from, but instead she runs to him even though he doesn't love her, and treats her like dirt. In the demonic world, unholy soul ties can serve as bridges between two people to pass demonic garbage through. I helped a young man not too long ago break free from downright awful visitations from demons, all due to an ungodly soul tie he had with a witch. The man was a Christian, and the only thing that allowed her to send demonic torment his way, is through the soul tie. Other soul ties can do things such as allow one person to manipulate and control another person, and the other person is unaware to what is going on or knows what is going on, but for no real reason, allows it to continue.
How soul ties are formed
I believe there are other ways which soul ties are formed, but here are some that I am aware of.
Sexual relations: Godly soul ties are formed when a couple are married (Ephesians 5:31, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."), and the Godly soul tie between a husband and the wife that God intended him to have is unbreakable by man (Mark 10:7-9). However, when a person has ungodly sexual relations with another person, an ungodly soul tie is then formed (1 Corinthians 6:16, "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh."). This soul tie fragments the soul, and is destructive. People who have many past relationships find it very difficult to 'bond' or be joined to anybody, because their soul is fragmented.
Close relationships: King David and Jonathan had a good soul tie as a result of a good friendship (1 Samuel 18:1, "And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."), but bad soul ties can form from bad relationships as well. Idolizing somebody can cause a bad soul tie.
I have heard too that you can create a soul tie with a rock group by becoming obsessed with their music. Which explains the strong pull towards certain music that seems almost irresistible.
Vows, commitments and agreements: Vows are known to bind the soul (Numbers 30:2), marriage itself consists of vows and binds the two people together (Ephesians 5:31), therefore I have little reason to overlook the concept of vows or commitments as being a means to create a soul tie.
How to break a soul tie
1. If any sins were committed to cause this soul tie, repent of them! Fornication is perhaps one of the most common ways to create nasty soul ties.
2. If gifts were given to you by the other person in connection with the sin or unholy relationship, such as rings, flowers, cards, bras, etc. I would get rid of them! Such things symbolize the ungodly relationship, and can hold a soul tie in place. If you are still friends or in a relationship (just now it's no longer an ungodly relationship), like say a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, except you've repented of and forsaken the unholy practices you used to do in your relationship, then I don't feel it is necessary to destroy all the gifts and things that you have been given. I would still encourage you to get rid of anything that symbolizes the ungodly practices in the relationship though, such as if a guy gives a girl a bra and panties with his initials on them during fornication. I wouldn't encourage you to hang on to such things that symbolize sin or that are wrong to give each other before marriage. Things such as flowers and love letters given during an adultery should be destroyed.
3. Any rash vows or commitments made that played a part in forming the soul tie should be renounced and repented of, and broken in Jesus' name. Even things like "I will love you forever", or "I could never love another man!" need to be renounced. They are spoken commitments that need to be undone verbally. As Proverbs 21:23 tells us, "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles." The tongue has the ability to bring the soul great troubles and bondage.
4. Forgive that person if you have anything against them.
5. Renounce the soul tie. Do this verbally, and in Jesus' name. Example, "In Jesus' name, I now renounce any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and ______ as a result of _______________ (fornication, etc.)."
6. Break the soul tie in Jesus' name! Do this verbally using your authority in Jesus. Example, "I now break and sever any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and _________ as a result of ______________ (fornication, etc.) in Jesus' name."
Dangers of fornication and adultery
Sexual play (intercourse, oral, etc.) is supposed to be for marriage. Whether or not you're a Christian, it's wise to keep this rule. It not only opens a person up to diseases and curses such as HIV, but it also creates unholy soul ties (spiritual bondage between one person and another), which can cause unclean (demonic) bondages to transfer from one person to the other.
Brief Biblical look at soul ties
1 Corinthians 6:16, "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh."
Obviously the two didn't get married, but something spiritual "happened" when they were joined physically in the act of sex. They were "joined"; their souls were "tied." Often there are men who have an adultery with a prostitute (one night stand), and afterwards, even years later, are still thinking about that girl! That is because a soul tie has been created.
Dangers of unholy soul ties
Unholy soul ties can be 'demonic bridges' between one person to the next. For example, if you were to have extra-martial sex with somebody who was involved in the occult and had horrible fears of demons, and was afraid of her own shadow.. you could end up with the same kind of tormenting spirits as she has, and be just as fearful (although you could have been afraid of nothing before sleeping with her!). This is because you are not only opening yourself up to a curse for sexual sin, but also a soul tie with a person who is tormented ```````by demons.
Don't think to yourself that the person you are having sex with is clean from demon spirits. Demons spirits can cause everything from depression to horrible fears (panic attacks, etc.) and a huge list of problems that people face everyday!
Struggle against compulsive lustful desires?
If you have a compulsive struggle with lust, bad thoughts, etc., you may be struggling with what they call an iniquity. An iniquity is like a weakness (lust, anger, pride, etc.) and it could have been handed down from your ancestors (Exodus 20:5) or it could have been opened up in your own life (Lev 5:17).
You might want to check out a book titled Breaking Generational Curses & Pulling Down Strongholds by Vito Rallo. It's a real eye opener to how these iniquities get started, how they operate, and how to go about breaking yourself off from them.
http://www.newwineonline.com/files/pdf/publications/newwineUST.pdf
http://www.divorcehope.com/breakingasoultie.htm
http://ministeringdeliverance.com/soul_ties.php
Thursday, August 13, 2009
The top 5 needs of men and women
Thu, Aug 13, 2009
Simply Her Magazine
by Justina Tan
A long-lasting happy marriage takes more than just understanding the needs of your spouse; it goes beyond mere acceptance of your spouse’s emotional and physiological makeup and learning to meet his or her needs. After years of counselling married couples, American clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor Willard F. Harley, Jr concluded that the top five needs of men and women fell into 10 categories:
Your top 5 needs
1 Affection Women often associate affection with security, comfort, protection and approval. When a man shows his wife affection, he’s sending subliminal messages to her that he’ll take care of her, stand by her and protect her.
2 Conversations When women have intimate conversations with their spouse, it reassures them and make them feel loved and supported.
3 Honesty and openness A women needs to be able to trust her husband completely. When a man doesn’t maintain an honest, open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust.
4 Financial support Many women marry for the financial security their spouse provides.
5 Family commitment A woman needs her husband to be a good father and to be committed to the family.
His top 5 needs
1 Sexual fulfilment Most women can go without sex for months, but for men, it’s pure torture. In fact, they would probably do it all the time if they had their way.
2 Recreational companionship Even after marriage, couples should make an effort to involve themselves in their spouses’ activities.
3 An attractive spouse A man needs a wife who looks good to him.
4 Domestic support Most men like having domestic chores like cooking and cleaning done for them.
5 Admiration Men want their wives to be proud of them. So when you tell your husband that he’s wonderful, it motivates him to achieve more.
Simply Her Magazine
by Justina Tan
A long-lasting happy marriage takes more than just understanding the needs of your spouse; it goes beyond mere acceptance of your spouse’s emotional and physiological makeup and learning to meet his or her needs. After years of counselling married couples, American clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor Willard F. Harley, Jr concluded that the top five needs of men and women fell into 10 categories:
Your top 5 needs
1 Affection Women often associate affection with security, comfort, protection and approval. When a man shows his wife affection, he’s sending subliminal messages to her that he’ll take care of her, stand by her and protect her.
2 Conversations When women have intimate conversations with their spouse, it reassures them and make them feel loved and supported.
3 Honesty and openness A women needs to be able to trust her husband completely. When a man doesn’t maintain an honest, open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust.
4 Financial support Many women marry for the financial security their spouse provides.
5 Family commitment A woman needs her husband to be a good father and to be committed to the family.
His top 5 needs
1 Sexual fulfilment Most women can go without sex for months, but for men, it’s pure torture. In fact, they would probably do it all the time if they had their way.
2 Recreational companionship Even after marriage, couples should make an effort to involve themselves in their spouses’ activities.
3 An attractive spouse A man needs a wife who looks good to him.
4 Domestic support Most men like having domestic chores like cooking and cleaning done for them.
5 Admiration Men want their wives to be proud of them. So when you tell your husband that he’s wonderful, it motivates him to achieve more.
What Asian men can do to make marriage work
ONE in three marriages breaks up in our country and the problem seems set to deteriorate further.Many of my friends have thrown in the towel and are on their own now, wallowing in the aftermath of their marital woes.
I’ve been told that keeping a marriage going is like running a marathon: You have to put in a lot of effort to maintain the relationship and, just like in a marathon, many feel like giving up once it gets too tiring and painful to carry on.Of course, I also have friends who have perfect marriages.These couples respect each other’s views and rarely quarrel despite their differences.After reading many self-help books on marriage, I realised mthat very few of such books examine the topic from an Asian perspective, even though there are obvious differences between Western and Asian couples.For example, Asian men tend to keep their marital problems to themselves, in contrast to their Western counterparts.This is why many Asian husbands fail to seek counselling when their marriages start breaking apart. Men, when given a choice, would not want to disclose their problems to a stranger.They find it humiliating to do so and some would rather end the marriage than seek help to save it.Despite being married for 16 years, I still constantly look for ways to enhance my marriage. I accept that mine is not a perfect marriage and can never be.In my case, I had a difficult time accepting the changes my wife wrought five years into our marriage. She became ambitious and career minded – very different from the easy-going woman I knew before our marriage.It took me many years to finally accept that she is, in fact, more intelligent and capable than me. That’s quite a blow to the male ego, and a bitter pill indeed for many Asian husbands to swallow!Couples can build stronger bonds only when they do things that they both enjoy.Unfortunately, this is easier said than done, and young couples have an especially hard time as they are sandwiched between the twin obligations of looking after ageing parents and caring for their own kids.Unlike Westerners, we Asians are taught from young not to argue with our parents, and this has harmed our ability to communicate openly with our loved ones.Too often, couples put up with a lot of misgivings before they start talking with one another, by which time, it’s usually too late to save the marriage.So, it is not surprising that young people are beginning to view marriage with disdain and to put it off indefinitely.My wife and I have survived many rough patches in our marriage.Career changes and children have driven deep wedgesinto our relationship. But we’ve worked through the problems and, so far, we are moving along just fine.I hope my experience will serve to remind others that it takes two hands to clap. No marriage is perfect but, with hard work, it can always work. -Mr Gilbert Goh
Thu, Aug 13, 2009my paper
http://divaasia.com/article/4743
I’ve been told that keeping a marriage going is like running a marathon: You have to put in a lot of effort to maintain the relationship and, just like in a marathon, many feel like giving up once it gets too tiring and painful to carry on.Of course, I also have friends who have perfect marriages.These couples respect each other’s views and rarely quarrel despite their differences.After reading many self-help books on marriage, I realised mthat very few of such books examine the topic from an Asian perspective, even though there are obvious differences between Western and Asian couples.For example, Asian men tend to keep their marital problems to themselves, in contrast to their Western counterparts.This is why many Asian husbands fail to seek counselling when their marriages start breaking apart. Men, when given a choice, would not want to disclose their problems to a stranger.They find it humiliating to do so and some would rather end the marriage than seek help to save it.Despite being married for 16 years, I still constantly look for ways to enhance my marriage. I accept that mine is not a perfect marriage and can never be.In my case, I had a difficult time accepting the changes my wife wrought five years into our marriage. She became ambitious and career minded – very different from the easy-going woman I knew before our marriage.It took me many years to finally accept that she is, in fact, more intelligent and capable than me. That’s quite a blow to the male ego, and a bitter pill indeed for many Asian husbands to swallow!Couples can build stronger bonds only when they do things that they both enjoy.Unfortunately, this is easier said than done, and young couples have an especially hard time as they are sandwiched between the twin obligations of looking after ageing parents and caring for their own kids.Unlike Westerners, we Asians are taught from young not to argue with our parents, and this has harmed our ability to communicate openly with our loved ones.Too often, couples put up with a lot of misgivings before they start talking with one another, by which time, it’s usually too late to save the marriage.So, it is not surprising that young people are beginning to view marriage with disdain and to put it off indefinitely.My wife and I have survived many rough patches in our marriage.Career changes and children have driven deep wedgesinto our relationship. But we’ve worked through the problems and, so far, we are moving along just fine.I hope my experience will serve to remind others that it takes two hands to clap. No marriage is perfect but, with hard work, it can always work. -Mr Gilbert Goh
Thu, Aug 13, 2009my paper
http://divaasia.com/article/4743
Monday, August 3, 2009
Love is not enough
http://www.divaasia.com/article/4616
Fun and laughter are clearly the secrets to the happy marriage of 98.7 FM DJ Daniel Ong, 33, and Jamie Teo, 31, Miss Singapore Universe 2001.
Throughout the photoshoot with Urban, both were constantly giggling and teasing each other.
Asked to look into his wife's eyes, Ong said: 'Look into her eyes? What if I fall asleep?'
The couple met on the set of Channel 5 sitcom Mr Kiasu in 2001, in which Ong played Mr Kiasu's brother, Mr Kiasee, and Teo played Mr Kiasu's girlfriend, Ai Swee.
They were friends for five years before tying the knot two years ago in September 2007.
The proposal came spontaneously. Teo was sick and Ong wanted to cheer her up.
'I drove to this road call Jalan Bahagia, which means Happy Road in Malay. We got out of the car, I got down on one knee and proposed,' he recounted.
They decided to mark the moment by buying a house on the same road.
They have since moved into a condominium in Serangoon along with three cats, two birds and 18 fish.
Compromise, they say, is the key to making a relationship work.
'Love alone is not enough. You also have to respect and be kind to each other,' said Ong.
How do you keep the romance alive?
Teo: Dan makes the effort to do things together. He makes sure that we go out instead of stay at home.
Ong: I think being intimate when you are in a public place, like squeezing hands or cuddling, keeps the affection alive.
I still make her my priority. Although work is everything to me, I always set aside part of the day to do stuff with her.
What do you find sexy about each other?
Teo: I love his strong forearms - I feel that he can protect me from any danger and he makes me laugh all the time. Dan is also very nurturing and providing - things like plants and animals flourish under his care.
Ong: I love her smile. She's also got an awesome body. She is always game for adventure and is a very loving person. When I see her carrying our cats or with my nieces and nephews, it makes me want to go over and hug her.
How do you deal with relationship problems?
Teo: Every time we get into a fight, I feel like saying: 'This is it.'
But when we work things out, I will think to myself: 'Did I really want to call it quits?'. I'm glad that we always manage to talk things through.
Ong: Every time we fight, one question always comes to mind: 'Can I do without her?'
The answer is always no.
The most important thing is to talk things through. We agree to disagree and identify the lines that cannot be crossed. Then we try to find a compromise and carry on with life.
What do you guys do together in your spare time?
Teo: I think doing anything together helps a couple to bond. It might be something that you don't really enjoy but your partner does, so you have to put in the effort.
Ong: We do a lot of sports together, such as badminton, table tennis, swimming and wakeboarding.
We like playing card games like poker and tahiti and we can do it for hours - just the two of us over a glass of wine.
This article was first published in Urban, The Straits Times.
Fun and laughter are clearly the secrets to the happy marriage of 98.7 FM DJ Daniel Ong, 33, and Jamie Teo, 31, Miss Singapore Universe 2001.
Throughout the photoshoot with Urban, both were constantly giggling and teasing each other.
Asked to look into his wife's eyes, Ong said: 'Look into her eyes? What if I fall asleep?'
The couple met on the set of Channel 5 sitcom Mr Kiasu in 2001, in which Ong played Mr Kiasu's brother, Mr Kiasee, and Teo played Mr Kiasu's girlfriend, Ai Swee.
They were friends for five years before tying the knot two years ago in September 2007.
The proposal came spontaneously. Teo was sick and Ong wanted to cheer her up.
'I drove to this road call Jalan Bahagia, which means Happy Road in Malay. We got out of the car, I got down on one knee and proposed,' he recounted.
They decided to mark the moment by buying a house on the same road.
They have since moved into a condominium in Serangoon along with three cats, two birds and 18 fish.
Compromise, they say, is the key to making a relationship work.
'Love alone is not enough. You also have to respect and be kind to each other,' said Ong.
How do you keep the romance alive?
Teo: Dan makes the effort to do things together. He makes sure that we go out instead of stay at home.
Ong: I think being intimate when you are in a public place, like squeezing hands or cuddling, keeps the affection alive.
I still make her my priority. Although work is everything to me, I always set aside part of the day to do stuff with her.
What do you find sexy about each other?
Teo: I love his strong forearms - I feel that he can protect me from any danger and he makes me laugh all the time. Dan is also very nurturing and providing - things like plants and animals flourish under his care.
Ong: I love her smile. She's also got an awesome body. She is always game for adventure and is a very loving person. When I see her carrying our cats or with my nieces and nephews, it makes me want to go over and hug her.
How do you deal with relationship problems?
Teo: Every time we get into a fight, I feel like saying: 'This is it.'
But when we work things out, I will think to myself: 'Did I really want to call it quits?'. I'm glad that we always manage to talk things through.
Ong: Every time we fight, one question always comes to mind: 'Can I do without her?'
The answer is always no.
The most important thing is to talk things through. We agree to disagree and identify the lines that cannot be crossed. Then we try to find a compromise and carry on with life.
What do you guys do together in your spare time?
Teo: I think doing anything together helps a couple to bond. It might be something that you don't really enjoy but your partner does, so you have to put in the effort.
Ong: We do a lot of sports together, such as badminton, table tennis, swimming and wakeboarding.
We like playing card games like poker and tahiti and we can do it for hours - just the two of us over a glass of wine.
This article was first published in Urban, The Straits Times.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Parking Rates in Car Parks - Orchard Area
Rates published are correct at time of printing. Updated June 2009.
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Parking Rates in Car Parks - Orchard Area
http://www.onemotoring.com.sg/publish/onemotoring/en/on_the_roads/parking/parking_rates/parking_rates.html?strCategory=1&TextBlock=Orchard%20Area%20Rates
document.title = "ONE.MOTORING - Orchard Area Rates";
Parking Rates in Car Parks - Orchard Area
http://www.onemotoring.com.sg/publish/onemotoring/en/on_the_roads/parking/parking_rates/parking_rates.html?strCategory=1&TextBlock=Orchard%20Area%20Rates
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Dating 101: Five Things Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day
Daily Habit #1: Talk to Each Other
Happily married couples typically say their relationships work better when they can sit down and gab one-on-one, like thinking, feeling adults. But who's got time for that? Actually, anybody who sleeps at night, if you follow the lead of Julie and Thom and their nightly visits to their "igloo."
"It all started one winter night years ago, when Julie had had a really bad day," says Thom, 33, a marketing director in Columbus, Ohio. "We were huddled under the covers of our bed, and Julie was describing how all the people who made her day miserable were 'bad polar bears' and how she didn't want any of the bad polar bears coming into the bedroom and how the bed was our refuge from them. You realize how embarrassing it is to admit this, right? Anyway, that's when we started calling the bed the igloo."
"The igloo is a place to retreat to," says Julie, 31. "It's our little sanctuary; only nice things happen in the igloo."
Eventually Julie and Thom began holding a powwow in the igloo at the end of every day, making a nightly excursion that Julie says has become a vital part of their five-year relationship.
"It's funny, because I always thought that when you lived with somebody, you'd automatically know everything that was going on," she says. "But we find that if we don't take that time to connect with each other, it's really easy for life to get in the way. The igloo offers one of the few times in the day where there's not a whole heck of a lot else going on, so you're able to focus on each other in a deeper way.
"Daily Habit #2: Flirt
Most couples realize that getting intimate every night isn't possible, let alone a worthy goal. Indeed, a 1994 University of Chicago survey of Americans' physical intimacy habits found that only about a third of adults have physical intimacy more than once a week.
That doesn't mean, though, that you can't at least talk sensually every day, and that's the approach that Ed and Stephanie have taken in the more than six years they've been together.
"It's funny," says Ed, a 33-year-old San Francisco cab driver, "because we know plenty of couples who fight, a lot, about how often they have physical intimacy. The wife's upset because all he ever wants to do is get intimate. But this has never really been a problem with us, and I think it has a lot do with the fact that we're always talking sensually to each other."
"Absolutely," says Stephanie, a 32-year-old massage therapist. "We're always complimenting each other, tossing out fantasies, telling each other we're appealing. He gets to feel like he can have sensual feelings, and I feel like I don't have to have physical intimacy all the time to appear attractive.
Let's put it this way: The way I see it, physical intimacy is like chocolate cake. After five days of eating chocolate cake, even chocolate cake doesn't taste that great."
"Right," Ed says, "but after five days of talking about chocolate cake, that cake tastes really good.
"Daily Habit #3: Get Stupid Together
Bob and Angie are ashamed to admit that the daily ritual that brings such joy to their 12-year marriage is none other than reality TV. That's right. They lived and died with "Survivor." They've adopted "Big Brother." "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" They do.
"Honestly, I think we just need to be dumb for a while," says Bob, 37, a shoe designer for Reebok in Boston. "We're both very into our careers. And when you're at work, with any job there's going to be a certain amount of professional stress. You like to come home sometimes and, for that lousy hour or whatever, kick back and relax."
Or as Angie, 36, a marketing executive, says, "Life is serious enough, isn't it? Sometimes you need to do something stupid. And if you can't be stupid with your husband, who can you be stupid with?
"Daily Habit #4: Declare Your Independence
So hold on, then: Is domestic joy found in partners smothering each other in obsessive daily rituals?
Hardly. In fact, Tessina says that sleepwalking through a series of hollow routines (although probably an apt description of your day job) is worse for your relationship than having no routines at all. The solution, she says, is to also make a daily habit of getting away from each other.
The point, naturally, is not to make space for each other in that I-can't-wait-to-get-away-from-you sort of way but to pursue your own hobbies and interests. It's a distinction that Joe tried hard to make to Lori during their delicate pre-engagement negotiations four years ago.
These days, Lori and Joe are practically poster children for the power of independence. Joe, who works for a nonprofit agency, spends his nights taking painting classes, building youth centers, and recording his guitar sessions. Lori, a college professor, spends hers directing community-theater musicals and indulging in trashy movies on cable television, a passion that Joe (go figure) doesn't seem to share.
"It all brings a freshness to our relationship because we both continue to grow as people," Joe says.
Daily Habit #5: Share a Spiritual Moment
In another University of Chicago survey, this one of married couples, 75 percent of the Americans who pray with their spouses reported that their marriages are "very happy" (compared to 57 percent of those who don't). Those who pray together are also more likely to say they respect each other and discuss their relationship together.
Not to say that prayer is a cure for all that ails you. But whether they're talking about a simple grace at dinnertime or some soul-searching meditation, couples routinely say that a shared spiritual life helps keep them close. And as Doug and Beth say, even couples who are on different sides of the theological fence can benefit from praying together daily.
"We have been married for seven years, but praying together is something we didn't start doing until about a year ago," says Doug, a 32-year-old Salt Lake City biochemist. "In the past, whenever we faced big decisions, we'd have discussion after discussion about them, but we'd never really come to a resolution."
"I soon found that praying together brings out a real sense of selflessness and humility," Doug says. "When you're praying for each other, not yourself, you're focused together and speaking from the heart on a whole different level. I would never have predicted this for us, but it really works."
"As bad as any problem may seem at that moment," agrees Beth, "prayer always helps us see beyond it. It doesn't have to be a long-drawn-out scripture reading, just a few minutes a day. When we pray, it brings another level of honesty to our conversations. I think it's the most intimate thing you can do with another person."
Now they pray together every night, once the "urchins" are in bed, which puts them in the company of the 32 percent of American married couples who say they pray together regularly. It also puts them in the company of Julie and Thom, when the other couple isn't holed up in their igloo, of course.
"It's pretty short and not at all scripted," says Julie about their giving thanks before each meal. "We just join hands and let it rip. Whether we're asking for forgiveness or giving thanks, saying it out loud holds a lot of power.
"Besides, regardless of religion or spiritual preference, I think that most marriages require a ton of faith," Julie sums up. "You've got to believe that somehow the two of you are going to make it through things. You've got to believe that you're being blessed with this person. And even if the power we feel just comes from the strength of our love, even if we don't believe that it's God who is helping us, I still think that it's good to acknowledge that there's a force between the two of us that's helping us out."Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24200/dating-101-five-things-super-happy-couples-do-every-day
Happily married couples typically say their relationships work better when they can sit down and gab one-on-one, like thinking, feeling adults. But who's got time for that? Actually, anybody who sleeps at night, if you follow the lead of Julie and Thom and their nightly visits to their "igloo."
"It all started one winter night years ago, when Julie had had a really bad day," says Thom, 33, a marketing director in Columbus, Ohio. "We were huddled under the covers of our bed, and Julie was describing how all the people who made her day miserable were 'bad polar bears' and how she didn't want any of the bad polar bears coming into the bedroom and how the bed was our refuge from them. You realize how embarrassing it is to admit this, right? Anyway, that's when we started calling the bed the igloo."
"The igloo is a place to retreat to," says Julie, 31. "It's our little sanctuary; only nice things happen in the igloo."
Eventually Julie and Thom began holding a powwow in the igloo at the end of every day, making a nightly excursion that Julie says has become a vital part of their five-year relationship.
"It's funny, because I always thought that when you lived with somebody, you'd automatically know everything that was going on," she says. "But we find that if we don't take that time to connect with each other, it's really easy for life to get in the way. The igloo offers one of the few times in the day where there's not a whole heck of a lot else going on, so you're able to focus on each other in a deeper way.
"Daily Habit #2: Flirt
Most couples realize that getting intimate every night isn't possible, let alone a worthy goal. Indeed, a 1994 University of Chicago survey of Americans' physical intimacy habits found that only about a third of adults have physical intimacy more than once a week.
That doesn't mean, though, that you can't at least talk sensually every day, and that's the approach that Ed and Stephanie have taken in the more than six years they've been together.
"It's funny," says Ed, a 33-year-old San Francisco cab driver, "because we know plenty of couples who fight, a lot, about how often they have physical intimacy. The wife's upset because all he ever wants to do is get intimate. But this has never really been a problem with us, and I think it has a lot do with the fact that we're always talking sensually to each other."
"Absolutely," says Stephanie, a 32-year-old massage therapist. "We're always complimenting each other, tossing out fantasies, telling each other we're appealing. He gets to feel like he can have sensual feelings, and I feel like I don't have to have physical intimacy all the time to appear attractive.
Let's put it this way: The way I see it, physical intimacy is like chocolate cake. After five days of eating chocolate cake, even chocolate cake doesn't taste that great."
"Right," Ed says, "but after five days of talking about chocolate cake, that cake tastes really good.
"Daily Habit #3: Get Stupid Together
Bob and Angie are ashamed to admit that the daily ritual that brings such joy to their 12-year marriage is none other than reality TV. That's right. They lived and died with "Survivor." They've adopted "Big Brother." "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" They do.
"Honestly, I think we just need to be dumb for a while," says Bob, 37, a shoe designer for Reebok in Boston. "We're both very into our careers. And when you're at work, with any job there's going to be a certain amount of professional stress. You like to come home sometimes and, for that lousy hour or whatever, kick back and relax."
Or as Angie, 36, a marketing executive, says, "Life is serious enough, isn't it? Sometimes you need to do something stupid. And if you can't be stupid with your husband, who can you be stupid with?
"Daily Habit #4: Declare Your Independence
So hold on, then: Is domestic joy found in partners smothering each other in obsessive daily rituals?
Hardly. In fact, Tessina says that sleepwalking through a series of hollow routines (although probably an apt description of your day job) is worse for your relationship than having no routines at all. The solution, she says, is to also make a daily habit of getting away from each other.
The point, naturally, is not to make space for each other in that I-can't-wait-to-get-away-from-you sort of way but to pursue your own hobbies and interests. It's a distinction that Joe tried hard to make to Lori during their delicate pre-engagement negotiations four years ago.
These days, Lori and Joe are practically poster children for the power of independence. Joe, who works for a nonprofit agency, spends his nights taking painting classes, building youth centers, and recording his guitar sessions. Lori, a college professor, spends hers directing community-theater musicals and indulging in trashy movies on cable television, a passion that Joe (go figure) doesn't seem to share.
"It all brings a freshness to our relationship because we both continue to grow as people," Joe says.
Daily Habit #5: Share a Spiritual Moment
In another University of Chicago survey, this one of married couples, 75 percent of the Americans who pray with their spouses reported that their marriages are "very happy" (compared to 57 percent of those who don't). Those who pray together are also more likely to say they respect each other and discuss their relationship together.
Not to say that prayer is a cure for all that ails you. But whether they're talking about a simple grace at dinnertime or some soul-searching meditation, couples routinely say that a shared spiritual life helps keep them close. And as Doug and Beth say, even couples who are on different sides of the theological fence can benefit from praying together daily.
"We have been married for seven years, but praying together is something we didn't start doing until about a year ago," says Doug, a 32-year-old Salt Lake City biochemist. "In the past, whenever we faced big decisions, we'd have discussion after discussion about them, but we'd never really come to a resolution."
"I soon found that praying together brings out a real sense of selflessness and humility," Doug says. "When you're praying for each other, not yourself, you're focused together and speaking from the heart on a whole different level. I would never have predicted this for us, but it really works."
"As bad as any problem may seem at that moment," agrees Beth, "prayer always helps us see beyond it. It doesn't have to be a long-drawn-out scripture reading, just a few minutes a day. When we pray, it brings another level of honesty to our conversations. I think it's the most intimate thing you can do with another person."
Now they pray together every night, once the "urchins" are in bed, which puts them in the company of the 32 percent of American married couples who say they pray together regularly. It also puts them in the company of Julie and Thom, when the other couple isn't holed up in their igloo, of course.
"It's pretty short and not at all scripted," says Julie about their giving thanks before each meal. "We just join hands and let it rip. Whether we're asking for forgiveness or giving thanks, saying it out loud holds a lot of power.
"Besides, regardless of religion or spiritual preference, I think that most marriages require a ton of faith," Julie sums up. "You've got to believe that somehow the two of you are going to make it through things. You've got to believe that you're being blessed with this person. And even if the power we feel just comes from the strength of our love, even if we don't believe that it's God who is helping us, I still think that it's good to acknowledge that there's a force between the two of us that's helping us out."Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24200/dating-101-five-things-super-happy-couples-do-every-day
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